Thursday, July 17, 2014


There are two reasons for the title to this post. The first is in regards to the newest Aguayo.

Anthony (my 7 week old) has not been doing well on any of the formula brands and types we've been trying. Two weeks ago, I decided to go ahead and stop supplementing my nursing with formula, and make the permanent switch. He wasn't eating enough with just me, and additionally seemed to be having some gastrointestinal issues even when I pumped it to bottle-feed. My production was steadily decreasing, and the stress was probably not helping with that.

Depressing though it may be, I thought the choice was a good one. Now, if we could only find food that doesn't hurt him! After seeing the pediatrician, we are giving Anthony Similac Alimentum, which is pretty much the end of the road as far as formula goes. It's predigested, so if this doesn't work, then obviously there's something else going on. Or, so I've been told. We will wait until Monday, and see if the diarrhea and crying after feedings continue.

I feel so sad for the little guy. He just wants to be able to poop normally, eat enough, and sleep peacefully. Is that so much to ask? I cry with him just about every day, though today his cries don't seem to be as related to feedings, and moreso to the fact that I'm not holding him. (Which is normal baby stuff...and I can handle that!)

So...yay for formula! Not. Overall, he is gaining weight, and not "sick" per se, so very grateful!

The second reason for a post entitled "Formula" is in regards to this 30-day journey of mine. I have been on the hunt for a formula. A secret ingredient that, when sprinkled into my life, will allow me to have some magical relationship with Christ. What I'm finding is that there IS NO SECRET INGREDIENT.

(I LOVE Kung Fu Panda! And didn't remember this phrase was in the movie until I did a google search for images related to the phrase haha. Fits perfectly!)

There is no formula. I already HAVE a relationship with Him. It just isn't what I presume it to be. So many people indicate that a relationship with Christ is meant to be super-personal and like a best friend. But, I'm learning the contrary. How in the world can we expect the creator of the universe to have a one-on-one relationship with us when He isn't visible or audible? God isn't. But the Holy Spirit is. In a sense. The formula isn't that I'm going to have this great relationship and back and forth thing with Christ here on earth. The difference between the way I approach life and the way a non-Christian approaches life is in my view of the afterlife.

I believe there is one - and I live as though I believe that. I believe that God will reward me for trusting Him, searching for Him, and obeying Him once I arrive in place He has prepared for me (John 14:6). But, for now, I'm merely meant to live my life normally. Making good choices, yes. Asking for God's input, yes. But not pretending like he's my bestest friend in the whole world (despite the fact that I need one). He's my parent. Sometimes you can go to them as a friend, but that isn't what they ultimately are. He's there to guide me in honorable lifestyle choices. No, I won't always make the correct choices, but He is there to point the way and say "Good give the right choice a go...".

In both cases, formula is not having an uplifting impact on my life. ;) However, I am FAR less stressed realizing that the secret ingredient I assume others have is non-existent. I'm breathing a bit easier, which gives me some wiggle room despite the stress of baby formula. It's comforting to realize, after typing all this out, that I'm actually handling all the stressors in my life better than I would have a couple of years ago. I haven't thrown any dishes, punched any pillows, or screamed at any cars on the road haha!

Moreover, I'm feeling less guilty. I have walked through life for years feeling guilty for not following a set schedule/pattern for a relationship with Christ. I'm not going to cultivate an earthly one because I go to church, do my Bible Study, and pray. I will, however, benefit from the relationship that does exist by doing those things.

I feel a bit rambly today, so I'm sorry if this post sucks! Haha. It's nice to get these two topics off my chest, and hopefully sleep a little easier. (until my cutie wakes up, that is) Now, despite the late hour, I'm off to sew! Because nitetime is my time ;) Here's the burp cloths I've been working on for my Etsy shop. Makes me wish I had a baby girl to use them!

Shared with these beautiful blog people: Missional Women
Till next time...


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Disclosure: I am not a medical professional, and all information on this site is strictly opinion. If you aren’t sure about your situation, please seek professional medical advice from your doctor. This post contains affiliate links, which allow me to obtain compensation on products that visitors purchase. That said, I do not link to products that I would not personally recommend.

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