Thursday, July 2, 2009

Jealousy -GooGooDolls

That's how I feel lately...a bit jealous. But I shouldn't! I have an amazing little family, wonderful friends, and we can pay most of our bills without me working. Little by little we're able to pay the bills we can't pay monthly, and it's working out fine. I have two friends who are going overseas to teach. MY DREAM!!!!!!! It's what I went to college for. But boys became a distraction...I lost momentum in my studies and no longer had a goal. I was supposed to move back to Japan and teach english. And I didn't. I just need to keep telling myself my life is what I've made it. Which isn't bad in the least. It's better! I've ended up married to the perfect man for me. When I first met him I thought he was ridiculous. We became best friends. THE best friend I've ever had, which of course led to actual love. I LOVE him. He's the first relationship I don't just up and leave every time there's a big fight or one of us won't change. And being married to him doesn't feel like a prison. I don't feel trapped. (which has actually taken some growing on my part....i've learned that being committed to someone is good not bad lol)

It's just hard to see pictures of these places and hear about the schools they're going to teach's something I want so badly. Ricardo would love to move to Japan. Maybe someday when we've paid off all our debt we can move there and I can have BOTH dreams. The mom and wife AND teacher of English as a second language. Only the Lord can decide if that's what's best for me. Until I'm told otherwise I will continue as we are. I need to start doing my devotions again. I need to have an actual RELATIONSHIP with God. I know he's there and I know he's the guider of my life, but I never take the time to pay attention and READ his words. I'm going to start scheduling my days. I have a newborn I'm getting used to, an economics class that's fast paced cuz it's the summer session, walks I'm trying to take to get back into shape, and devotions I need to do. In addition to this I'm trying to alternate between using Ricky's naps for my naps and cleaning the house. It get so messy so fast! Can anyone tell me how the heck this happens????? Rawr! I'll get into a routine eventually...I just need to work on it. And even more, I need to start cooking more meals at home. Which means I need to plan out meals so I know what to buy at the store AND so that I can plan ahead to shop where it's cheapest. I think I'll stop blogging now and go make this schedule. I got a bunch of new "cooking for two" recipes that I'm going to try out. I'll post the really yummy ones.

I've missed blogging. :) It makes me feel so much better.

Here's my favorite pic of my little man. It was one of the 80-odd shots I took to get one for the announcements. So I guess it's at the top. And it's crooked. I"ll fix it all later. lol. Oh wait...I got it! It's still sideways. I"ll upload more later. I need to spend some research time on here to figure out how everything works. Also I want to put my own background on my blog anybody know how to do that?


Dionne said...

Japan is sooo cool, I totally understand why you'd want to go, and I know it's got a chunk of your heart. It will happen when the time is right, you are right - God's blessed you with a great little fam, and some day you all will be able to get out there to Japan.

As for the backgrounds, it's in the customize section under "edit HTML", that's where you put the new background code.

Heather said...

ohhh ok. Thanks girl! and thanks for the encouragement. :D I needed it today. :D (3 hours of sleep every nite will push ya to the edge occassionally lol)

Meg said...

He is such a cutie. I love the outfit, I wish I could have had a boy, it would have been fun shopping for him.